Welcome to The Elflympic Games! Brutes and Brawlers Begone, this is a test of skill, of speed, of Elves! Elves of all flavours have come together to compete without the worry of those bigger, scarier races messing up their hair and making them feel nervous. That being said, there are bound to be a few, er, knocks and scrapes...
These are the Elflympics! The crowd want to see beautiful ball-play, with balls sailing through the air, with nail-biting catches, with intense interceptions! They want to see games with five Touchdowns on each side! Sure they want to see blood as well, this is Blood Bowl after all!
…unfortunately, due to recent Anti-Racism Laws enforced by the Rulers of the Auld World, no team is restricted entry to the Elflympics. Despite many petitions featuring much hand-wringing and eyelash fluttering by the Elven Representatives, the law is iron-clad:
NO TEAM IS TO BE DENIED ENTRY TO THE ELFLYMPIC GAMES
...of course, the rules don’t say you have to make it fair for them.
Aelth: Greetings one and all, and welcome to the first Elflympic Games! With me today are commentators from all over the Elf world, prepared to give you lucky listeners our take on what promises to be, well, an event.
Cursatiel: I am Cesrythylthm Cursatiel, a proud member of the Asur, what thou common-speakers call ‘High Elves’. I am here to lend a sense of decorum to this debacle.
Melisthyce: Pff, unlikely. Add a little bit of perfume and foundation, maybe. I’m Melisthyce nel Skin-Grater, Dark Elf.
Cursatiel: Move up, wretched cousin! Thou art covered in too many spikes!
Ja’threny’ial: Your arguments are inane. This is why you will never win. I am Ja’threny’ial, an Elf of the Forest.
Murbo: I am Murbo!
Aelth: Aha, yes, this is Murbo the Ogre. We have to have him up here for inclusivity reasons, and because otherwise the NAF won’t let us commentate. Oh, I’m Aelth Sun-Moon Lacer, what you might call a member of the yet-to-be-formed Elf Union. Anyway, shall we take a look at some of the teams before they kick off?
Murbo: Wot iz a elf?
Aelth: Later, Murbo.
Check back later once the event is underway (or finished!) to hear a breakdown of each roster by the commentators!